Betrayal is one of the most challenging things to happen to anybody who inflicts it on them. Now imagine how painful it would be to be betrayed by the one person who holds together your career, livelihood, and day-to-day life. One of the most critical factors of a healthy work environment is trust and comfort. Being betrayed by your boss hinders your ability to trust anyone in your workforce, hence delaying or abruptly destroying your ability to progress in your domain. No one is responsible for anyone else’s actions, which is why you cannot change what your boss did or might do to you in the future. As the founder of Learn & Evolve, working with companies and employees pursuing transformational change for their organizations, leaders, and industries is my forte. I’ve co-authored Supercharging Your Workforce and numerous other publications and researches on workplace wellbeing and how to keep employees productive and happy. With my expertise in the matter, here are something you can do to help yourself heal from a supervisor’s betrayal.
Preserve Your Values
After all else fails and your boss is not genuinely remorseful about the betrayal, or if he or she is a serial betrayer, it’s time to take matters into your own hands. Avoid treating others the same way your boss treats you by holding onto your values and making sure you speak to others the same way you would like to communicate. Clarify your values and make sure to exclude any behavior that does not define who you are in the workplace.
Resist the Betrayal
Preserve your psychological health by standing against abusive tendencies your boss might have by holding him or her accountable. For example, if your boss takes credit for your work, make sure to have your name listed in relevant projects for important stakeholders to see. Separate your self-worth from your boss’s behavior and make sure to always keep up with your achievements.
Trust Who Deserves It
When betrayed, it becomes easier to universalize the issue and find it more challenging to trust others. This causes problems not only in the workplace but also in your day-to-day life. Constantly reassure yourself that not everyone will break your trust the same way your boss did.
Forgive and Move Forward
Turning towards a recipe for revenge rarely ends up working in your favor. Every negative thing you do will affect you in the end and make you seem as horrible as the boss you hate. As hard as it may seem, forfeiting your rights to retaliate and forgiving what your boss has done will benefit you greatly. That does not mean that you should suppress your anger. Writing down your feelings and make sure to constantly reassure yourself that what has happened to you does not make you inferior to anyone is very valuable.
Share Your Emotions
Suppressing your emotions can cause many detrimental issues that may affect your work life and your day-to-day tasks. In addition to writing down your feelings, you can seek help from a therapist or a confidant to share your experience and anger with to alleviate your trauma and anxiety. It is also essential to pay attention to the activities you perform outside of work and to take care of yourself and your body in the process.
Remember Your Passion
After the betrayal, your sense of entitlement will grow, making you feel like you need to do extravagant things to get over your traumatic experience. But after a while, you will notice that everything you have done does not reduce your hurt. You might also start losing the passion you had for your job before everything happened. Emphasize your sense of purpose, and make sure to remind yourself of your talents and of the reasons that you took this job, to begin with.
If you ever find yourself in a situation where your boss betrays your trust, protect yourself from all the detrimental things that might happen to your psychological health and focus on getting yourself out of the situation as soon as possible.